Wow.
I so often think in session with people that I need to read The Art of War, that 5th C BCE text by Sun Tzu, and that military college instructors and combat generals have a parallel wisdom to what I help my clients struggle with in therapy; i.e., how to rise up EFFECTIVELY.
The issues is not that fight is “bad” or flight is – fight/flight being that territory of anxiety and sweaty palms – but how do they come into balance. I am either coaching people how to stand up for themselves (fight) or how to know what battle to pick and leave (flight). These impulses are not to be disowned! They are part of the nervous system, our arsenal. The question is how do they come back into harmony to be most useful to us.
So back to the quote – sometimes I am unearthing the warrior (“It’s ok to set a boundary! It does not make you your angry dad! Or a bitch!”) or guiding it toward better strategies (“Yes, there is nothing for you here…”). As therapist I keep watch. I am the second-in-combat, attending to the warrior. An honor.